The following quote is from Ann Voskamp's thought-provoking, inspiring blog.
"Only when a man looks to Jesus, does a man know how to treat a woman."
Please take the time to read her blog post, After Steubenville: 25 Things Our Sons need to know about Manhood, and reflect on the message.
As a christian woman, her words ring true. As a girl who grew up in a conservative religious culture, the double-standard for morality that seeps in from society and plagues the church is all too familiar.
It is easy to by cynical. I was disgusted and disappointed on more than one occasion at the university I attended when it was insinuated and outright taught that women were solely responsible for the way men treated them. I remember one chapel talk in particular where the speaker stated, "Boys will be boys. It is up to you as a woman to set all the boundaries."
When did it become okay within the church for impure, unrighteous, abusive behavior to be brushed aside as, "Boys will be boys"?
It is a double-standard, glaringly obvious if you are a woman.
It is a double-standard, glaringly obvious if you are a woman.
I know the world is messed up, but the church? That breaks my heart.
Don't be deceived into thinking it does not happen in the church. I would venture to say the majority of christian women, either through personal experience or that of a friend, or simply hearing a conversation, know of incidents of rape, vulgar comments, physical and verbal abuse, and intimidation within the church by men; men who in many cases are in positions of authority. I think of an incident when a student in college raped a young woman, and was merely transferred to a different school. The abuse was ignored.
It was like a slap in the face.
Within the church, girls and women learn which men to avoid; sometimes learning through abuse--shocked and confused when a man with a 'good reputation' in the church hurts them. When abuse occurs, they most often suffer in silence. They have learned from the examples of others that their accounts will be disbelieved. They will be shamed for ruining the man's reputation. They will be blamed in some way. So, women keep quiet. They take care of each other and become their own defenders and guardians.
Don't be deceived into thinking it does not happen in the church. I would venture to say the majority of christian women, either through personal experience or that of a friend, or simply hearing a conversation, know of incidents of rape, vulgar comments, physical and verbal abuse, and intimidation within the church by men; men who in many cases are in positions of authority. I think of an incident when a student in college raped a young woman, and was merely transferred to a different school. The abuse was ignored.
It was like a slap in the face.
Within the church, girls and women learn which men to avoid; sometimes learning through abuse--shocked and confused when a man with a 'good reputation' in the church hurts them. When abuse occurs, they most often suffer in silence. They have learned from the examples of others that their accounts will be disbelieved. They will be shamed for ruining the man's reputation. They will be blamed in some way. So, women keep quiet. They take care of each other and become their own defenders and guardians.
It doesn't take long to hear, if the woman's account is even believed, "She put herself in a compromising situation; what did she expect?"; "She must have done something to set him off and make him angry."; "She was dressed immodestly; she brought it on herself."; or "She was drunk." As if that somehow justifies, or at least lessens the severity of a man's decision to abuse a woman.
Women are taught to be ashamed, to feel guilty, and to be afraid; silenced by the church that proclaims self-control, gentleness, and purity--for everyone but the men; and by a society that treats women as objects to be used and thrown away; a society where television shows, movies, music, magazines, books, and commercials objectify women and praise men for their 'conquests'.
Boys are not being raised to be men who protect, defend, and cherish women. Excuses are made for bad behavior. Purity is something for which women are responsible, not men. Anger is ignored. Acts of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse are whispered about, but never confronted.
A man of God does not change his behavior depending on the character of the woman. He does not use anger and intimidation to get what he wants. A man of God does not see how far he can go, expecting the woman to set the boundaries. He strives for purity and holiness to please God. By virtue of this, he treats all women with compassion and respect. He protects and defends. A man of God is a builder, not a destroyer.
Rise up, O men of God. Strive for purity, self-control, gentleness, and holiness within your own lives.
Respect your mothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends, grandmothers, daughters, nieces, granddaughters, aunts, classmates, sisters in Christ, co-workers, youth group members---the people God created for you to cherish and protect. We are your fellow human beings--not objects to be used or burdens to be discarded.
Respect your mothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends, grandmothers, daughters, nieces, granddaughters, aunts, classmates, sisters in Christ, co-workers, youth group members---the people God created for you to cherish and protect. We are your fellow human beings--not objects to be used or burdens to be discarded.
1 comment:
Preach it, sister!! Lol.
I read Ann Voskamp's blog as well. :)
And also, referring to the comment you wrote on my last post, I frequently tell Chris how I would like to just spend a week with you and your mom. Haha. If anyone stopped to enjoy the finer things Of life (God's creations) while still pursuing large dreams, I think it's you. Just an outside perspective, anyway. :)
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