"We won’t stop confessing He is good and we won’t stop thanking Him for
grace and we won’t stop holding out our hands — and taking His hand. We
won’t stop believing that “God is good” is not some trite quip for the
good days but a radical defiant cry for the terrible days. That “God is
good” is not a stale one-liner when all’s happy but a saving lifeline
when all’s hard." -Ann Voskamp
This
year of life has taught me that I know nothing; absolutely nothing.
God's ways, thoughts, purposes, and plans are far above and beyond my
ability to comprehend. I don't understand this life. I admit it. God is
powerfully working in ways I can't even begin to imagine; even in the
sorrow, chaos, and experiences that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I give up
trying to figure out and rationalize life. It is beyond that. God knows everything, and I know nothing. I don't understand. I'm tired of death--the death of a friend and fellow christian every weekend for the past three weeks; thousands dead in the Philippines; over 100,000 killed in Syria; another friend clinging to life in an ICU far away.
I've known Job's story for many years. I realize I was only reading it, not taking it in as reality. Now I get his story for the first time in my life. The sorrow and bad news comes in waves, like the ocean, dragging me to my knees, scraping the sand and grit, giving just enough time to attempt to stand, only to overwhelm all over again. There is absolutely no way to comprehend it. It doesn't make sense. I've learned that you eventually reach the point of no longer trying to stand or catch your breath; rather you resign yourself to the storm and wait for the next wave.
Job didn't understand. I don't understand.
Blessed be the name of the Lord was Job's "...radical defiant cry for the terrible days."
"But when I hoped for good, evil came, and when I waited for light, darkness came...Then Job replied to the Lord: "I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.”
"But when I hoped for good, evil came, and when I waited for light, darkness came...Then Job replied to the Lord: "I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.”
-Job 30:26, 42:1-6
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