Gifts 73-79

"God puts you where God needs you. You are where you are supposed to be. The job you are doing may not be any easier on account of this, indeed it may be harder, even more urgent, but now you are centered, focused, clear. So this is where I am supposed to be. I always thought I was supposed to be somewhere else, doing something else, being someone else. But I realize now that I was mistaken. This does not mean that I can't or will not be doing something else. Just right now, I am where God wants me." -Lawrence Kushner

 

If someone had told me I would return six years after leaving to the place where I grew up, I would have laughed and said, "No way!". Little did I know; life has many ways to prove me wrong.

As I approach the ninth month of searching for a full-time job, I'll admit it has become more difficult to remain optimistic. In the life plan in my head, returning to the place where I was raised was most definitely not on the list. I moved here when I was one month shy of five years old, and remained until I went to college. To most people, living in one spot that long would create roots. Not me, though. I never settled in and I never belonged. It is coming up on 21 years; yet, when people ask me where I'm from, I claim Tennessee, a state I lived in for only six years as an adult.

It isn't easy to be back with no end in sight. So, to confront the disappointment, I must choose to focus on the good things--the moments I would not experience if I was living somewhere else.


1,000 Gifts book 


1,000 Gifts, continued...

73. A roof over my head--This one is a huge blessing. If not for generous parents who let me and my dogs come home, we would be living in my car. No joke. As it is, I have a safe place to sleep, plenty of food (delicious food, actually, since my mom is the world's greatest cook), electricity, and running water. My dogs are living the good life on the farm. It is sobering to consider the number of people who don't know where they will sleep each night. Without my parents, it is likely I would be in that category.

74. Playing board games with Mom and Dad--Between Trivial Pursuit and the redneck version of Scrabble Mom invented, our game nights are always interesting and laugh out loud funny.

75. Spending time with old friends who live nearby. They are the link to childhood. They comprise many of my happiest memories. I belonged with them, even when I felt out of place everywhere else.

76. Visiting my grandparents--Due to the lack of a full-time job schedule since last September, I was able to visit Grandma for a week in November during deer season, and Grandma and Grandpa in January for a festival we wanted to attend together. My grandparents are pretty amazing!

77. Learning to simplify--All of my earthly possessions have been in boxes since April 30, 2012 when I moved away from Tennessee. I don't miss any of that stuff. Material possessions don't matter. It is a liberating realization.

78. A moment of laughter with a stranger who came out of nowhere--My family's black and tan coon hound has the loudest vocal ability of any dog I have ever met. He doesn't bark, he howls--sounding somewhat like an opera singer mixed with a police siren. It is a sound that makes me want to kill him at 2 a.m., but is contagious any other time. You can't help but howl right along with him. He was in the throes of a particularly spectacular hound sound a few days ago when I was outside. I threw my head back and howled at the top of my lungs only to quickly realize I wasn't alone. Some guy on a bicycle was riding by, howling along with Yukon, too. We realized it at the same time, and busted out laughing.

79. Learning to let go. This does not come easily to me; yet, it is still a gift. I needed to learn to stop fighting and struggling to have every facet of my life planned out in detail. It is difficult, and not always what could be classified as a fun gift, but the Lord is slowly but surely teaching me to let go and just be.

 What gifts are you thankful for during the hard times and days of disappointment?