O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

God's Word is amazing. Every time I read it, I come away with a new thought or a different perspective. Passages I have read over and over for many years shed light in a way I had never considered.

I was reading the Psalms a few nights ago and this thought struck me---The majority of God's followers within the Scriptures did not have happy, relatively stress-free lives. Many of their lives ended tragically. 

Think about it.

 David had to flee from his own son; Joseph's early life was extremely stressful (human trafficking and false imprisonment); Esther had to face the agonizing possibility that her people would be destroyed; Moses led millions of people through a wilderness for 40 years as they grumbled, complained, dragged their feet, and even plotted to kill him at times; Lot lived in a city so wicked the Bible states that his righteous soul was "tormented [def. severe physical or mental suffering] by their lawless deeds"; some of the apostles were executed; Stephen was stoned to death; and Priscilla and Aquila risked their lives every day to host the church in their home; not to mention the shipwrecks, beatings, imprisonment, torture, unfaithful children/family members, hunger, thirst, loneliness, sickness, deaths of friends, betrayal, war, slander, evil plots, backbiting, and total exhaustion endured by followers of God.

Wow.

When I list even just a handful of them, it leaves me speechless.

I know in my case, I too often view the stories as way back when in Bible times--not really connected to me in my 21st century life of electricity, automobiles, space travel, and ipods.

But then, the Lord reminds me to take a closer look and not merely read the words, but feel the stories behind the words.

They were people. They lived, and loved, and laughed. 

They watched friends die, sometimes excruciatingly painful deaths. They didn't understand. They wondered, searched, and questioned. Their entire lives were turned upside down with a knock at the door as soldiers dragged them off to prison. They experienced sleeplessness and strain to the point of utter, I can't take another step-exhaustion.

They raised children. They shared meals. They enjoyed each other's company.

They dealt with unemployment, unfair bosses, disobedient children, and unloving spouses.

They cried. They were lonely. They missed people and wished they could be together.

They experienced joy. They were cheerful and sang songs. They learned contentment. 

Through all the confusion, chaos, and disappointment, they knew they would be okay; the Lord would come back for them in His time. No matter what.

So, as I sit here facing unemployment, I remember them--the people who endured far, far more difficult situations than the lack of a full-time job.

As I let go of the ideas and plans for how I want my life to be, I remember their faith and acceptance.

I remember their Lord, and mine---our Savior who understands disappointment, confusion, pain, fear, and loss. He did not promise any of us an easy, pain-free, smooth, always have full-time employment kind of life. He warned that it was going to be rough at times, and we had better count the cost before deciding to follow. He was right. It isn't always easy. Sometimes it hurts and I have a bad attitude. I get impatient and want to yell, "Make it a little clearer, please! I don't have a clue what I'm doing!"

I don't understand God's patience. It has to be tiring and annoying as I flail, kick, whine, and struggle. I would have given up on me a long time ago.

Instead, He holds on tighter. 

I think of Him shaking His head at my defiance and moments when I freak out about life as He says, "Let it go, child. Rest. I've got this covered. You are going to be just fine. I will never let you go. "

Again, wow. 

Slowly, but surely, I'm learning.

 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:11-13